Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Here’s What Couples Therapists Think

If you’re dating someone who’s cheated before, that doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is destined to fail. Still, knowing that your partner got a little too cozy with a coworker in the past, perhaps, or had a months-long physical affair can understandably make you paranoid about your future together.

Maybe the classic saying “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is lingering in your head. Contrary to popular belief, though, it’s not a universal truth, Kayla Knopp, PhD, co-founder and clinical psychologist at Enamory in San Diego, tells SELF. For starters, absolutes like “always” usually aren’t factual: A ton of jerks might have a track record of being unfaithful, sure, but many others probably learned from their mistakes, Dr. Knopp says.

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